Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
