I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
