you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
