umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
