That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
