Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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