it hurts more in the daytime
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
