And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
