I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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