About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
