There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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