they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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