so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
