Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
