i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
