after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
