You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
