i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
