Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just high enough for therapy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
