...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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