I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
two words...techno handjob
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
