Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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