OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
