I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
