Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
