marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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