her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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