Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
