I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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