Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
