it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
