what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
