I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
