Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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