How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
