you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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