I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
