Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
