is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You left your phone here
Wait...
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