i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
