What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
