he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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