Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize