so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
