the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
