I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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