she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
