You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
