drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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