he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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