i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
