my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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