whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
