No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
