I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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