do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
