pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
